Prioritize self-care without feeling guilty

The nagging feeling of guilt when attempting to practice self-care should be eliminated from your routine. Self-care is crucial for overall physical and mental health. Baylor Medicine psychologist Dr. Eric Storch details the importance of self-care.

What is self-care?

Self-care is engaging in behaviors that are all about optimizing one’s sense of self, having self-compassion and taking care of one’s individual needs. While self-care often brings happiness and joy, it is not selfish. It sets a foundation for what a person needs to move through their life.

“Self-care is not just engaging in positive or rewarding activities, but it’s doing things that really preserve someone: diet, exercise and sleep. Those serve as core foundational blocks for being able to operate in the world and in other domains,” said Storch, professor and vice chair of psychology in the Menninger Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Baylor.

Neglecting self-care

Self-care sets the tone for how one interacts with the world. It allows one to take care of their basic needs, as well as more complex social and emotional needs. Maladaptive approaches for self-care can make people more vulnerable to stressors of life and have more difficulty engaging with the world.

“Even the days where you have a bad night of sleep, you can imagine how much more likely you are to be irritable, cranky or interpret things that are somewhat benign in a more negative fashion,” Storch said.

Practicing self-care

Storch says people should be clear about their values and boundaries to properly practice self-care. This looks different for everyone. First, set a framework for how you wish to engage with the world. For some, that might mean exercising daily, getting eight hours of sleep every night, eating breakfast every morning or just needing time for yourself. Then, implement that framework to get what you need to operate effectively in all areas of life.

“Knowing what it is that you need to keep your fuel tank reasonably fully is important because that allows you to be present in other areas that involve others for which you are responsible,” Storch said.

Self-compassion

It is difficult to balance and prioritize hobbies and time for oneself and taking that time often leads to guilt. Guilt about how one should be doing something else. Guilt over feeling selfish for taking time for oneself. But Storch recommends practicing self-compassion:

• Think about how you would advise others: How would you advise a best friend? Direct that standard way of thinking toward yourself when practicing self-care.
• De-catastrophize: Is the world going to end if you practice self-care, such as taking a nap? Of course not. In fact, a nap makes you better if you’re well-rested and present as opposed to being tired and grumpy.

“Treat yourself with kindness and understanding with the idea that you are doing this to make yourself more effective in other ways,” Storch said. “It’s the aspect of not being self-critical but rather being self-compassionate. Don’t beat yourself up, think about how you would advise someone else, and de-catastrophize.”

Learn more about Baylor Medicine Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences.

By Homa Warren