How to cope when your pet dies
Grief is different for everyone. And for many, losing a beloved pet can leave a large void in a person’s life.
And while there are established ways to help a person cope with the loss of a beloved family member or friend, there is a therapeutic void for those who can’t seem to move on from a pet who has died.
Dr. Eric Storch, psychologist and professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Baylor College of Medicine, said there are two main reasons why this happens.
Animals become part of the family and intertwined in our lives. “Despite all the benefits that our pets provide, we’re ultimately responsible for their wellbeing,” Storch said. “Not only are they so important to us, but their unconditional love further engenders that connection.”
And pets offer consistent love. “They’re always there for you; if you think of your dog or cat, they’ve never really had a bad day when they’re grumpy or treat you poorly or snap at you,” he said. “That notion of consistency in being there for us, also, facilitates that connection.”
When that loyal companion dies, however, one can feel as deeply as they would if a beloved fellow human died. The feeling of loss extends to the joy and support the pet provided for years, Storch said.
For many, one pet dying can make it difficult to get another pet in the future. Loving a new pet may seem to some like it’s an act of betrayal against the former pet – even if that’s not logical.
“There’s also the fear of losing a new pet, and it may make people feel a little more reluctant to take that chance again,” Storch said. “For others, you want to fill that void by establishing a new relationship with a pet.”
There’s no wrong way to mourn a pet, he added. Having a ceremony to say goodbye in a meaningful way may help in the mourning process, as well as taking a few days off from work or school.
Many veterinary clinics offer ways to memorialize a pet, including pawprints made from cremated remains. Tattooing pets on the body has become a more popular way to memorialize a pet, whether they’re alive or not.
“Everyone’s different, and there’s no way wrong way of dealing with the loss of a pet,” Storch said. “It’s about trying to make sense of your loss in the best, individualized way of processing.”
By Julie Garcia
